Fringe News

If you don’t know who Kal-El is, you may want to enrol

If you don’t know who Kal-El is, you may want to enrol at a better school of pop art. The name is the original Krypton language version of someone called Clarke Kent. That should get you over the h...

The lunar eclipse made humanity seem not-so important

The lunar eclipse made humanity seem not-so important. Halfway through the night of the blood moon I got a floating feeling, almost like seasickness. I had to pull back from staring skyward and I a...

Don’t wear camouflage.

Don’t wear camouflage. Especially ironic camouflage, like army fatigues in gross orange and pink, and then think you look cool. Battledress is for battle, and party dress is for parties. And stay a...

Suddenly I’m hearing the croaking of frogs.

Suddenly I’m hearing the croaking of frogs. Not for a minute but the whole friggin night. This is next level. I guess there must be a running stormwater drain, or perhaps one of my neighbours has a...

You cannot say ‘get real’ to an anti-realist.

You cannot say ‘get real’ to an anti-realist. You can say ‘get surreal’ which would imply that you’re wishing them a higher degree of imagination, in their engagement with life’s banality. It tak...

Colour is nutrition

Colour is nutrition. It’s not yellow it’s carotenoid. It’s not green it’s chlorophyll. It’s not purple it’s anthocyanin. It’s not red it’s lycopene. It’s not brown it’s melanin. It won’t be the fir...

My fear becomes more apparent in a pharmacy

My fear becomes more apparent in a pharmacy. I wade down the aisles entranced.  And even though it’s a fact that the aisles in big franchise pharmacies are not as long as those in supermarkets, the...

So Van Gogh didn’t cut off his ear.

So Van Gogh didn’t cut off his ear. Not the whole ear at any rate. He cut off a piece of it, in a fit of rage over the loss of Gauguin’s friendship. When I think about it — I want to cry. The big s...

Colour is power.

Colour is power. Colour is language, and colour has baggage. And it’s a major part of the baggage we carry as artists. I wonder who first discovered that certain animals are colour blind? I had to ...

If I had a punk band I’d call it Deep Vein Thrombosis.

If I had a punk band I’d call it Deep Vein Thrombosis. It’s got echoes of Deep Purple but, also, it reflects on the feelings of inadequacy we all develop around the breakdown of the body, as we gro...

My Moma said that life is like a box of chocolates

My Moma said that life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re gonna get. That was Forrest Gump’s mom’s rubbish advice. Of course she wasn’t wrong, but she never finished the senten...

Chocolate flavoured chocolate reminds me of real chocolate

Chocolate flavoured chocolate reminds me of real chocolate. Likewise, butter flavoured popcorn reminds me of real butter. The world is a self-replicating mystery. The reason nothing is genuine anym...

There’s a Disneyland in all of us

With purple castles and enchanting landscapes, and with imaginary creatures, striving for a perfect life. There are adventure rides, romantic encounters, happy endings — and tearful departures, whe...

I try to be sincere about the borders of my heart.

I try to be sincere about the borders of my heart. So don’t try to sell me your genuine fakes.It doesn’t matter in which mall you operate, the sun will rise tomorrow on a new day in which you ply y...

Nurse Ratched was the horror of Cuckoo’s Nest

Nurse Ratched was the horror of Cuckoo’s Nest, which is code for you have to be of a certain age to remember Jack (Nicholson) as the sane but complicated madman McMurphy, who was a cult figure from...