Fringe Weekly Blogs

Love is the drug

Love is the drug. Thanks for the heads-up Roxy Music. It was their biggest hit in America, and it was the ultimate floor-filler in boogie wonderland, a year before I was born. The Rock ‘n Roll Hall...

Trigger Warning

Trigger warning: I’m not sure what’s worse wanting a cigarette or smoking one. The (ant)arctic freeze was a little hint of winter, and I peeked inwards, in a sort of existential reverie only to rea...

Last night I had the artist’s nightmare.

Last night I had the artist’s nightmare. I dreamt I was strolling down a tree-lined street when I found an estate agent’s For Sale sign on a metal board, outside the driveway of a nice old house.  ...

Good art used to be about good gossip

Good art used to be about good gossip. I guess that’s when art used to be about heartbreak. In my history of art class we did old British masters — and of course Victorian artists absolutely loved ...

Nice planet we’ll take it’

Nice planet we’ll take it’ — was the tagline of my favourite nasty movie Mars Attacks. In it the aliens saw earth merely as a piece of lucrative real estate, which is definitely not true of the wor...

Snap, Crackle and Pop

Snap, Crackle and Pop are like the poor relations of the cartoon world. Only they made millions of kids smile at dawn, even though they kind of went nowhere in life. What happened on the breakfast ...

People should have their ingredients listed

People should have their ingredients listed, like food packages. They should let you know their emotional contents, and how much toxic preservative they’re carrying around inside of them. That way ...

Paradise is the weirdest word

Paradise is the weirdest word. It’s an idea that’s getting lost on the human race. These days paradise is like some kind of advertising accessory, but once upon a time life on earth used to be so t...

Appearance is everything

Appearance is everything. It’s a tragedy, but it’s true. Art appreciation is firstly an act of looking, which leads to comprehending as your eyes start to talk to your brain, which consults with yo...

Don’t get me started

Don’t get me started and I’m just getting started really are the same thing. It’s the Temu theory of communication, in which everything is fair game. It’s a little more than merely saying, I’ve got...

Some nut jumped on a horse

Some nut jumped on a horse, and did everyone a huge favour… for millennia.At some stage the horse held the same status as the car, only cars don’t poop on the road. Horses created an entire career ...

The world’s biggest chocolate

The world’s biggest chocolate was really just an AI bit of nonsense. Yesterday the romantics on Planet Love had the choice to accept a 36-metre heart-shaped choccie on a road somewhere in America —...

Good neighbours make good walls

Good neighbours make good walls. You have to hand it to your pals next door if they build a wall that can withstand intruders. Someone jumped our common wall in the middle of the night and he had a...

The Mona Lisa is really just a tired

The Mona Lisa is really just a tired old brand that refuses to die. And its creator, Da Vinci, was really the biggest pop artist that ever lived. Leonardo painted celebrities and pandered to the ri...

Vampires are shitty and two-faced.

Vampires are shitty and two-faced. There’s something about their addiction to blood that makes them hateful. I guess they have no choice in the way they survive. But they’re conniving and desperate...