Andy Warhol never got to use email

Andy Warhol never got to use email or make up a password. That’s weird. Although, I guess it’s not too weird when you consider that neither Rembrandt nor Van Gogh would even understand the word “password.” And that’s not because they were both Dutch, but because the idea that you would need a personally invented word to access your private information is a strictly 21st Century phenomenon.

A password is an invisible key, or an intangible asset, to borrow a phrase from contemporary social politics. While a country’s intangible assets are things like languages, and recipes for gross dishes your great granny cooked, your most important intangible assets, now, are you passwords that unlock an equally intangible universe of life enhancements.

As we all know, and take for granted, the password must be eight letters long, must include a number and a special feature like # or @. It’s like a whole new person. I must say, I’m tired of inventing new ways of writing the names of people I love, for passwords, or reworking the dates of their birthdays so no one will be able to duplicate them — and so I won’t forget to buy them presents when their special day comes along.

And then there’s the sad phrase that allows us to backtrack on these important decisions, namely: Forgotten password. It’s as though the word has left the narrative to float sadly, alone in space, now replaced by something new and useful. That’s the thing about Artificial Intelligence, it will always win, but the gremlin in the system will always be alone and lonely. #fringetheartist