Good neighbours make good walls

Good neighbours make good walls. You have to hand it to your pals next door if they build a wall that can withstand intruders.

Someone jumped our common wall in the middle of the night and he had a gun. Well, he put his hand in his pants and the lovely woman who works for us saw the outline of something lethal. I’ll say no more.

At 3am we were pouring two security guards glasses of coke in our kitchen while another looked for footprints in the garden. Nice that the rain had left the yard all soggy. There were two neat footprints in a muddy flowerbed.

I thought, well he was wearing expensive sneakers, so I dashed to my cupboard to check if my footwear was all there. Nothing missing.

The description of the guy was generic: tall and strong. I imagined a lineup at the police station of whichever powerful gentlemen had walked our street through the night.

Our neighbours arrived and they were not going to drink Coke-a-Cola at 3am. They opted for herbal tea and juice respectively. Statements were made — and the height and strength of the wall, and the electric wiring, was debated.

Nothing will change, and nobody has been arrested. The nights are just as penetrable, but now they feel a lot longer. And the dogs slept through the whole intrusion. Thankfully none of them was wounded. #fringetheartist