The dad’s race at the school sports day is always such a sad loss of dignity

The dad’s race at the school sports day is always such a sad loss of dignity. That’s because it’s exactly what is required: falling, fumbling men, pot-bellies bouncing, letting their families down ungracefully. 

Of course there’s always got to be one hero, who comes first. He can really balance an egg on a spoon, for the last leg of the mini-triathlon. 

When I’m done with extra murals, outside of regular school hours, I’m testing extraterrestrial DNA samples down at the laboratory. The amazing thing about the aliens that have infiltrated our society now, is that they have exactly the same building blocks of DNA as us —like adenine and guanine. But these have formed in outer space and have arrived via meteorites.

This supports the theory of panspermia, which suggests the raw ingredients for life were delivered to Earth from space rather than originating entirely on the planet. 

I just think sports day would be a lot more interesting if we could get the aliens to compete. But they refuse to come to the athletics field in winter, because their planet has no seasonal changes, and their kids are always too cold nowadays, to play.